Priceless Junk

Pianos are becoming more worthless by the hour. Still, lots of people own them. And, of course, now that everyone needs money way more than they need pianos, people like me get lots of calls asking for advice on how to exchange a rarely played used piano for the highest price possible. Of course, piano owners get a little upset when I tell them that their instrument is worth only a fraction of what they paid for it. Frankly, I have grown weary of being the bearer of bad tidings regarding a piano's market value. (I guess real estate agents are suffering similar abuse from homeowners.)

But the truth is, no matter how polished or decoratve the woodwork might be; no matter how pleasing the timbre, or well-regulated the action: even a perfectly maintained piano will command a much smaller sum on today's market than it did only a few years ago.

It's a great time to purchase one, though! I'm tellin' you; you can pick up a piano for a song :-). Now that people are out of work in droves, and pianos are readily accessible and dirt cheap, wouldn't it be the perfect time for those who missed out on piano lessons as a kid, or talked their parents into allowing them to quit lessons, to finally learn to play? The study of piano is a process of creative learning and personal development that re-shapes the brain during every practice session. This re-shaping process is a way healthier, if not cheaper, approach to combatting modern mental malaise that is a byproduct of unemployment; namely, depression and boredom.

If you've never owned a piano, consider this:

Let's say you were to take a piano off somebody's hands and make the commitment to invest time learning to play: (You might be surprised to hear that the time investment can be as small as just a few minutes several times a day;) Your body would begin to lay down little paths of a chemical called myelin in your brain. The creation of myelin is the first step in the process of building a more complex network between one's ears. With continued conscious repetition of your piano practice, your brain would build brand new neuro-pathways that would allow you to think and create more quickly and efficiently than you ever thought possible. And, piano study can begin at any age, because the good news is that grey matter has a property of inherent plasticity; so that, even as we age, the brain can continue to grow and improve with conscious usage. The demands of piano study cause the right and left hands to work in tandem and in opposition, which activate the right and left lobes of the brain; and, it just so happens that this process of learning movements with the hands and arms is the most expedient way to begin construction on building an intricate network of travel for thought processing. In other words, the process of learning to play the piano improves and develops one's brain and personality on a daily basis. As you learn to coordinate the eyes, hands, fingers, and arms, you end up with a whole new road system for your thinking process. And the more roads you build, the more places your brain can go. Additionally, once you embark on the journey of learning piano, you will be amazed by the fact that your attention span will increase - without drugs! You will need this increased attention span to stay focused as your mind becomes more like a Ferrari, and your brain interconnects, more like the Autobahn.

Should you decide to give a piano a new home in order to begin and continue the process of learning to play the instrument daily, or almost daily, you could soon learn to perform music that was created by some of the greatest creative intellects who ever walked this planet. In doing so, part of your brain will contain the very same neuro-pathways as J.S.Bach, W.A.Mozart, Joseph Haydn, L. von Beethoven, F. Chopin, J. Brahms... et. al. Not bad company to be in, right?

(By the way, I wonder how these guys would do on a modern job interview?)

You know about Spanx, right? And how older, slightly out-of-shape people are willing to pay over $50.00, if not more, for these tiny pieces of polyester worth literally a fraction of a penny? So, one on hand, we have little pieces of cheap fabric stitched into shapes being sold at a tremendous mark-up, and on the other, intricately crafted musical instruments with hundreds of precisely fabricated moving parts worth very little at all. That's because of the fact that the process of squeezing oneself into those horrible little pieces of stretchy fabric is immediately physically transformative. It's true that an over-priced undergarment can change how a person looks; but, it cannot change who a person actually IS. (Plus, no one can wear a girdle 24/7! There's always at least 8 hours of reality in the life of every Spanx wearer.)

A piano, on the other hand, shapes its owner from the inside; morning and night, for life. And, isn't that really what everyone craves? That is, to actually BE an improved version of oneself rather than to flaunt a temporary, unsustainable illusion?

Geunine, measurable change happens to a person's very being every time a person interacts with a piano - although, I'm sure that somewhere out there, some inspired entrepreneur is dilligently working away at a Spanx for the brain!

Come to think of it: considering everything the study of piano can do for a person, it's no wonder piano owners are incredulous and angry when I tell them their instrument is worth such a small sum in today's market. Frankly, I always hope piano owners will change their minds about selling their piano, and choose, instead, to keep their piano, and change their minds.

So - maybe nowadays pianos are practically worthless. But, if you find yourself in a position to acquire one and make a commitment to it, I'm tellin' you: you will have on your hands one priceless piece of junk.

context

http://the99percent.com/articles/6973/Francis-Ford-Coppola-On-Risk-Money-Craft-Collaboration

I love this man's work, and I think he has a lot of important things to say about the state of art and commerce. A magazine about digital music recently used an excerpt from this conversation out of context. I really don't think FFC
meant to suggest that those working in creative fields shouldn't be paid. This is an important topic that should be discussed -

Good News, Bad News

The good news, or so I'm told, is: On the Internet, there's lots of information about learning how to play the piano and avoiding musician's injuries.

The bad news, I reply, is this: Almost all of the information you'll find on these subjects is misleading at best.

For instance: Ask.com provides us with this pearl of wisdom re: playing arpeggios (inexplicably labeled "long scales") on the Piano with the Right Hand:






If you're a pianist, you just laughed outloud. And if you're hoping to become a pianist who will someday be in on this joke, the type of misinformation represented here will most likely prevent you from ever achieving the musical literacy required to grasp the foolishness of this example.

I've been playing piano for over 46 years, and I know almost everything I want to know about music and how to play the piano. So, why should I care that other people are being prevented from gaining this knowledge?

More importantly, why should I care that YOU care?

A Brand New Bad Idea!!

Assuming that I've convinced you that pianos are indeed on the path to extinction, my next goal is to figure out who to blame for their decline. I intend to take a close look at every aspect of owning a piano and studying the instrument until I have enough facts to make a case against someone or something for this distressing situation, and that's going to take me a while.

Meanwhile, here's something to think about: A new idea that will make learning how to play the piano simple!!! and easy!! (That is, if it doesn't electrocute you.)

www.concerthands.com

This contraption will completely inhibit very important motions that need to be learned in order to play; namely, the "in" and "out," (arm moving forward and back,) and the rotation, (forearm turning left and right.)

People have tried for years to shortcut the process of learning piano. Although I very much believe that there is a more expedient path to pianistic achievement, 46 years of playing experience tells me that Concert Hands is NOT what we're looking for.

Pass it on: don't waste your money or your time. But, if you see one at a county fair or at a music store exhibit, do check it out: Who knows? the electrical stimulation might give your fingers magic powers. Now that WOULD be something, wouldn't it?

Save the Pianos

Have you heard the news that PIANOS, yes, PIANOS!, are an endangered species?

I've been saying this for years now: "Soon, pianos are going to be extinct." And my observation has been met almost exclusively with disbelief and ridicule. "That's crazy!
How can pianos become extinct? People play them all the time!" folks would say.

Good old Reader's Digest is the national publication that recently put pianos on their endangered list, (ironically, Reader's Digest is also on the brink of extinction) thus corroborating my seemingly outlandish observation. Although anyone knows you can't believe everything you read, it seems that the general public would rather trust Reader's Digest's predictions than those of an aging blonde Southern Belle.

And now that Reader's Digest has got my back, I finally have some credibility when I rant on my favorite topic: The Fate of the Piano.

Here are the facts: There are way more televisions, ipods, cel phones, computers, and video games than there are pianos. Sales of televisions, ipods, cel phones, and video games are up, and sales of pianos are down. And if people want more televisions, ipods, cel phones, and computers, and fewer pianos, listen up, ya'll: Supply and demand wins; pianos are history. (sm)

In case you didn't know, the reason for the decline in demand for pianos is very simple:
Pianos are a pain.

They are rarely much fun to be with, they require maintenance that can only be provided by weird men with funny tools, and, they have to be dusted, a task only slightly less despised by modern folk than ironing.

They're big, they're expensive, and they will never ever match the sofa.

No one can make a credible estimate of how long it will take a person to learn to operate the instrument: come to think of it, no one can even guarantee you will ever learn to operate a piano at all.

Owning a piano even comes with emotional baggage; namely, a relationship with a member of a breed unto themselves: Piano Teachers. Trust me, you want to think long and hard before you let a member of that tribe into your life.

Back to the piano itself: Did I mention they're big ... and heavy? You can't take them anywhere, you have to go to them - with humility, patience, and a sense of humor. And possibly a glass of alcohol, or a caffeinated beverage, which you can never, ever sit anywhere near the damn thing because if you spill that beverage into the instrument, you'll end up having to call the weird guy with the funny tools, and he doesn't work cheap.

Although pianos can be stunningly beautiful in a timeless, art deco sort of way, the more affordable ones are often scarred and homely.

And, if you happen to live next door to a piano, you will more likely hear the piercing tones of a frustrated, tortured beginner being forced to push keys down for thirty minutes than the lyrical lines of a polished performer bringing Chopin's delicately filigreed phrases to life. (The polished performers don't seem to live next door to anyone except maybe in New York, where even their musical sounds can be unwelcome.)

To call a piano high maintenance is an understatement. Granted, they don't have to be house broken, but then again, they're not cute little furry things. I guess that's why no one is up in arms to save pianos from extinction.

Yet, the Piano has been a partner to the intellectual and artistic growth of the human race for hundreds of years. You'd think someone would sit up and take notice of that fact, now wouldn't you?

I personally believe that the decline of the piano is having a negative impact on society that will only be completely understood and mourned in hindsight. And, despite the inherent pitfalls of piano ownership, I don't want to live in a world devoid of the benefits of studying the Piano, arguably the greatest musical instrument ever designed.

That's why I want to Save the Pianos. Please join me.